Moan for me like Helen Keller
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
