bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
