I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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