i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
