he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize