So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
