How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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