To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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