i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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