I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
