I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
