By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
