Who did Billy Mays play for?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
