can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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