ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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