So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
