Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
