Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
