well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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