Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She said her name was "party"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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