Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
