You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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