the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
