He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
