i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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