He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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