They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
