went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
