Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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