I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
