i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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