I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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