Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
