Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
