I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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