In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
