Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
