i just wanna soil my oats bro
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
