I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
