You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
