the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
