one two three fourrrrnication!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
