Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
