I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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