I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
