Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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