what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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