Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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