You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
