last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Randomize
