I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
