I wish I only lived at night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
