3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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