GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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