Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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