How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
