your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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