His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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